Burger King

Le Burger Week Day 3 Burger King "You come at the King, you best not miss" The recent theatre release for Stephen King's It, has garnered deserved praise for a number of reasons, not the least being that it is the first King film adaptation to reach an aggregate score over 50% on Rotten Tomatoes, since 2007's "1408" and "The Mist". Yet even more notable than that accomplishment, is the fact that its clown demon antagonist has finally, albeit narrowly, edged out the Burger King mascot as the individual you are least likely to be comfortable with leaving in a room full of children. Concerns aside, this patriarchy knows how to sling a burger, evidenced by the longstanding success of the "Whopper Sandwich" [Illuminated readers will note that a Double Whopper appears in today's edition - Ed.]. An unexpectedly smokey flavour permeates the patties, fried up in the "smashed" style that every kid with a moustache and spatula likes to pretend he invented in 2017. The freshness of the produce on the burg is arresting - lettuce, tomatoes and onions clearly harvested from the private gardens of the King himself. Each bite is a vehicle, transporting you to the palace courtyard, where you walk amongst the fragrant flowers and rows of crisp vegetables. Yet as you walk, a quiet sense of discomfort builds, first in the small of your back and now the tension working its way up your neck. Was that a sound in the bush over there? You are sure you are alone, but you could swear it was a human sound - a stifled quiet laugh, a chuckle even. You now realize you've lost track of the time. How long have you been walking mindlessly in these gardens? As the sun sets and the rows of green turn to orange and now to blood red, every path and walkway in these forsaken gardens have started to blend into one another. You stand still as a quiet panic starts in your chest. A figure steps out from behind the nearby shrubbery and stares silently at you. His eyes like those of a dead minnow, wide but lifeless. His smile shows a thin glimpse of his upper teeth, and then the awful black emptiness of his mouth. His mouth begins to open, continues to open, his lower jaw moving far beyond what should be possible, like a snake dislocating its maw for prey. He speaks, his breath like the hot wind off a large fire, and you fall to your knees. As the darkness closes in, he whispers, "Have It Your Way". Anyways, great burger as always BK 5/5.